IMPORTANT FEDERAL-ISH NOTICE: No checks are coming. No raffle exists. The only thing you should enter is a voting booth.

Terms, Conditions & Other Decorative Text

Please read carefully. Or don’t. That has never stopped a campaign promise before.

What you get.

Nothing. We cannot stress the nothing enough.
If you don't vote, you get nothing. If you vote you get nothing.
Voting isn't a transaction. Voting is a voice.

How every raffle ends

You click the big patriotic button.
Confetti falls. Reality enters the chat.
You are reminded that elections are real.
Consequences of elections are real.

Official distribution of funds

0% to the lister.
0% to this website.
100% of your remaining civic enthusiasm goes to getting out and voting.

The part corporate counsel made us say slowly

This is political satire, not a raffle, bank, government program, campaign, or miracle.
No real payments, accounts, prizes, checks, or fulfillment exist here.
If a politician promises you money, verify before you build a household budget around the applause line.

I Accept These Extremely Binding Vibes Return to the Evidence